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He loves me, he loves me not

September 27, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Here is a dating and mating question from a friend of Eden Newman. In her quest to save the pearls and find a mate so she can experience a young adult fantasy romance, Eden’s met many other girls who are also looking for their perfect mate.

“My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and he still hasn’t said he loves me. When we first met, he told me that he doesn’t think he’s a capable of love but he that he was trying to find a mate. Should I ask him directly if he loves me yet? If I’m not his perfect mate, I want to know that so I can move on and start dating and mating.”–Forever waiting for the L-Word

Ouch, that sounds less like a young adult fantasy than a romantic apocalypse. When a man tells you something about himself, it’s best to believe what he says. While in Harlequin romance novels or young adult romance books, sometimes the heroine has to endure a struggle to convince the man she loves that he loves her too, this is real life, not a fantasy romance.

By staying with him, you’re telling your boyfriend that you’re okay with being in this young adult romance, even if he doesn’t love you. Regardless of how happy you are with him, you need to talk to him about his feelings. If he still doesn’t love you or believe in love, you’re just wasting your time, when you could be browsing online dating profiles and finding your own fantasy romance. Avoid your own romantic apocalypse and seek what you deserve: a young adult fantasy romance.

Eden Newman recently shared how she was willing to wait for the real deal, an adventure romance like the kind she used to read about in Harlequin romance novels. Whether you seek interracial relationships or are trying to help save the pearls, visit SavethePearls.com to learn more about the cause and what young adult fantasy is really about. Set up your online dating profiles and start that journey towards your own adventure romance.

The Exclusivity Factor

September 22, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Since a fundamental part of The Save the Pearls campaign is to help Pearls find the perfect mate and navigate the world of dating and mating, it’s also our mission to provide strategies for creating a successful relationship. Eden Newman had an awesome question for us this week: how do you know if your relationship is exclusive? That’s a question almost everyone faces in their adventure romance, and since we’re not all living in the world of Harlequin romance novels, it takes work to create the young adult romance you’re dreaming of.

After browsing online dating profiles so you can find a mate—the perfect mate, of course, you may date for a period of time and not be sure of your status. Here are some things to look for so that you don’t suddenly find yourself immersed in a romantic apocalypse rather than a young adult fantasy romance.

Getting it together.
After weeks of sorting through online dating profiles and going on dates, you think you’ve found someone cool. Often times, people spend a lot of time interacting online before actually meeting in person—instead make sure you’re going to social activities and events together. Get some quality time in so that you can see if it’s really a fantasy romance in the making.

Getting introduced to the friends.
You can be sure your young adult fantasy romance is headed in the right direction if your date brings you around their friends. It means that they are confident being seen with you if they bring you to parties or their regular hangouts. If their friends knew about you in advance, even better. This factor ranked particularly high with Pearls, but much lower in interracial relationships or those that were in casual, interracial dating situations.

Meeting the Family
One of the most nerve wracking events in any adventure romance is meeting the family. If you’re dating and mating and the one you like introduces you to his family, there’s a good chance they’re taking this seriously. Likewise, a bad interaction with the family can lead to the demise of your young adult romance and place you on the verge of—you guessed it, romantic apocalypse. This factor ranked extremely high with Coals, lower with Pearls, and lowest among interracial relationships. However, it was a major concern for our lovely Eden Newman.

Stylin’ and Profilin’
Has your quest to find a mate been a whirlwind of fantasy romance, the exact stuff of Harlequin romance novels? Do you go out to nice restaurants or are you still meeting up at the club? Do you start the night together or are you just getting a booty call? This isn’t a young adult fantasy novel—it’s reality. Look at how and where you spend your time together and you’ll know whether you’re on the serious track or the friends with benefits path.

Whether you’re interested in interracial dating or learning how to create a young adult fantasy relationship, the Save the Pearls site will give you all the resources you need for this journey.

by eden

Make him chase you…

September 22, 2011 in Eden's Posts

So we’ve been flirting—yes, me and the one. He’s so like subtly sexy, I can’t stand it. He came up to me while I was filing a report and asked a question, but I couldn’t hear a thing. It’s like my senses blended all together. His arm brushed mine and it was straight electricity! I know I must be sounding like one of those old school Harlequin romance novels or young adult fantasy romance books, but whatever! I know what I feel, and it’s the first time I’ve ever had a feeling like that about someone. I wonder if he feels it for me too? I know the whole interracial dating thing might be an obstacle for him, but how could anyone ever resist this? I will play my cards right, even though I don’t have much time. What is it I read in one of those young adult romance advice columns—make him chase you?

by eden

Getting it on paper

September 14, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Things have been quiet lately, but still I feel my romantic apocalypse on my heels. It’s like that feeling you get when you walk into a room and everyone just stops and stares at you in complete silence. It’s quiet, but you know they’re all thinking something—and it’s probably not good. Like everyone I pass knows I’m about to expire. If I don’t find the perfect mate and get that fantasy romance going, then Eden Newman is a thing of the past. The government will secretly come in and take me away. I wonder what they’ll do with my dog? Anyway, I’ve decided to take these last few months and put my story down on paper. The time has come for Revealing Eden. I’m going to get my story out there so that it can maybe help others. I don’t want my life to be a total waste, you know? So I’m working day and night to get it all down—and I mean everything. I’m not hiding a thing. I don’t care what the government does to me if they find out. My clock is ticking anyway, right?

Why do we fall out of love??

September 13, 2011 in Apocalypse World

You’re head over heels—you found that fantasy romance you always dreamt of. After months of browsing online dating profiles, you thought you found the one, the perfect mate you were going to spend the rest of your life with. It was as if your life was the plot of one of the best Harlequin romance novels. Then all of a sudden, it was over. What happened?

Bottom line: love doesn’t always last. Despite your best efforts to keep the adventure romance going, it may just not be meant to be. The question is, can you do anything to stop love from ending? We asked some experts why the young adult fantasy ends and how we fall out of love.

Fear. Often times, we’re in a relationship with who we think is the perfect mate—and then we cause our own romantic apocalypse. When intimacy gets too scary, we may unconsciously push an open, loving, emotionally available partner away by diminishing their worth in our own heads and to them. This happens when we know deep inside that we’re very vulnerable with this person and our defense mechanisms kick in to sabotage it. If you find yourself killing the young adult romance before it’s had the chance to grow, be aware. If you have to, talk to a therapist or counselor. When you find a mate, be open with your feelings and when this feeling comes up, share with them how you are trying to deal with this fear. Don’t go creating a bunch of new online dating profiles either. Try to work through this issue now instead, because it will just keep rearing its ugly head.

Lack of communication. Regular communication is essential to having that amazing relationship that has all the makings of Harlequin romance novels. When you’re dating and mating, you must discuss your issues and be able to voice your complaints in a productive way. The earlier the better—it’s becomes more difficult to face issues later on. We’re not talking about fighting or playing the blame game—it’s about keeping your adventure romance on track by letting your partner know when you’re upset or which behaviors annoy you.

When we’re trying to find a mate, we tend to pit our on our best front. Once you’re immersed in that young adult fantasy romance, you may let your guard down and show new sides of yourself that surprise your partner. This is why it’s always best to be yourself from the get go, and that includes being honest about your likes and dislikes. Forget about being “right” all the time—focus instead on keeping the fantasy romance alive, being thoughtful and careful about how you behave towards each other and communicating effectively and sympathetically.

Change. Eden Newman shared a story with us about how one of the potential mates in one of her interracial relationships seemed like the perfect match for dating and mating. Then, after many months, he shared with her that while he was okay with interracial dating, he was not okay with having children with her.

Over time, people can change—or more often, they become who they really are. In addition, they can change their mind based on their experience in their young adult romance or long-term relationship, especially when it comes to interracial relationships. The man that Eden Newman was dating may have just decided that it wasn’t for him, after realizing the problems they encountered dating in a world where she was working on the save the pearls campaign and he was not behind it. They came from two different worlds and he simply decided that this young adult fantasy romance wasn’t for him. Thus began Eden’s personal romantic apocalypse.

People may decide they no longer love their career. They may want to throw away that amazing medical career to become an artist. People evolve and their circumstances change and that may ultimately affect their relationship. The most important thing is to know the difference between your young adult fantasy and who your partner really is at their core. Whether you’re interracial dating, in a homosexual relationship or there is a sizeable age difference, the parties involved are always going to be susceptible to change. Life is about changing and growing.

So keep working on your mate-rate, educate yourself about successful relationships, and learn to be open to all of the elements of love. Most importantly, be aware that not every relationship is meant to last forever and sometimes they will transcend to beautiful, lifelong friendships. Either way, seize the day, enjoy the journey… and help us save the pearls!

Improving Your Mate-Rate

September 9, 2011 in Apocalypse World

I love it when people try to tell you that attractiveness doesn’t matter when you’re trying to find a mate. Perhaps that’s true in the world of Harlequin romance novels, but not in a world where you need to save the pearls, lol. When you’re dating and mating, or at least trying to, one of the most essential elements of finding the perfect mate is your level of attractiveness, or mate-rate, as we like to call it.

Unfortunately, looks matter, and with technological advances and the media savvy world we live in, image has become increasingly important. From our wardrobe and looks to our level of fitness, charisma and ability to hold a conversation, we’re always being noticed or judged—especially when others are browsing our online dating profiles. It’s as if a romantic apocalypse is upon us and if we don’t project ourselves in the most positive light possible, we’ll never manifest the young adult fantasy romance we’ve been dreaming of.

While perfection is elusive, the basis of attracting the perfect mate begins with physical attraction. Most of us are not just looking to become friends with someone—we’re looking for the butterflies, the young adult fantasy that takes us by storm and makes us forget anyone else ever existed. Respect and friendship are important components of relationships, but there has to be a strong attraction and some bit of chemistry for a fantasy romance to occur.

One of the best ways to improve your mate-rate and obtain that adventure romance is to improve your looks. This means getting in the best physical shape of your life—working out regularly and always striving to take your fitness to the next level. This isn’t just key to attracting others when you’re dating and mating—it boost your flow of endorphins so that you’re happier and more confident, and therefore, more attractive. As Eden Newman points out, Pearls have it harder than most others, especially if they’re involved in interracial relationships. So it’s time to get that workout regimen going and get yourself in the best possible shape if you want to find a mate.

In addition to getting your workout on, grooming is another key aspect in obtaining the young adult fantasy romance of your dreams. In young adult fiction and Harlequin romance novels, they describe the heroine’s beauty in the first chapter. Follow suit by finding a stylish yet flattering haircut, getting lessons in skincare and makeup application, and follow the basic tenets of good grooming: manicures, pedicures, monthly facials, waxing, etc. This type of pampering makes you look and feel better. Plus, taking care of yourself makes you happier and more confident, and that much closer to finding your fantasy romance.

If you’re creating online dating profiles, make sure your profile pic is taken when you look your very best and that it reflects your personality. This is especially important when you’re seeking interracial dating prospects, as reflecting your personality in a photo will give the viewer more insight into who you are, when cultural differences may detract during the initial attraction phase. What is key, however, is that you don’t underplay the reality of what you look like in your pictures. Keep it real, but your very best real.

Make up for where you’re lacking in the physical department with personality. Many people find comedians very attractive due to their stage presence and personality. I’m not saying to prep your own stand-up routine or repertoire of jokes, but if you want to find that young adult romance, you’ve got to use your personality and highlight your best assets. Most importantly, identify your passions and pursue them—it will show your depth, you’ll be happier because you’re pursuing them, and it will translate into… you guessed it, attractiveness!

If you’re looking for an interracial romance, show your daredevil, thrill-seeking side. If you’re a bookworm who likes to bury your nose in the latest young adult romance books or graphic novels, be honest about that. This will help you attract someone with the same interests, which can lead to a successful, compatible relationship. If you’re interested in pursuing interracial relationships, then be upfront about that and honest about what you bring to the table. If you love to champion causes like homelessness, cancer prevention or the Save the Pearls campaign, share all your passions with your potential partner.

If you want advice or have questions about interracial dating, avoiding the romantic apocalypse or you just want to learn more about Eden Newman, send us an email at info@savethepearls.com! We look forward to hearing from you!

by eden

Back on my game

September 8, 2011 in Eden's Posts

So I was feeling down for a little bit after hearing about the latest Pearl disappearance (still haven’t heard anything new, by the way), which led me to beating myself up a little bit. I lost track of the Save the Pearls campaign because I had butterflies ion my stomach because I thought I found the perfect mate. It seemed like my own fantasy romance was about to unfold, and since we have no other choice as Pearls than to find a mate, I got a little focused on my own plight. Plus, it’s fun. I want the whole love story, the ones they write about in Harlequin romance novels and young adult romance books. (Okay, so I read Harlequin romance novels when I was younger, that’s all I could find on the bookshelf my mom left behind!) Anyway, I’m back on my game. I can’t help but check out all the new online dating profiles (Hello, Charmer171 and Thai!! And that’s just for starters) because I do need to find the perfect mate so that I can avoid the romantic apocalypse I’m facing. But I am going to do everything I can, I will Save the Pearls! Mark my words!

by eden

Be realistic

August 18, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Okay, today, the boy I’ve been vibing made it clear that he’s vibing me back. Our eye contact was insane—it felt like he was seeing right into my mind, like he could read every thought I had. I felt almost… naked. He is so hot! We talked for a few minutes in the hallway, when no one else was around (of course). A coal can’t be seen talking to someone like me… like that. He was just inches away from my face, and I could tell he was feeling it. I’m trying to stay open to others and to just focus on the Save the Pearls campaign and not think I’m the main character in some adventure romance novel (my father always says, “Eden Newman, you’re not the star of some young adult fantasy romance. Be realistic). I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, either—interracial dating and mating is seriously frowned upon. But It’s hard to stay grounded in reality, when I’m certain this guy’s vibing me too. xox Eden Newman

by eden

Reading the signs…

August 17, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Remember I mentioned that I may have met someone? Well, I’m actually getting really excited because I’m pretty sure he likes me too. He’s gone out of his way to pass by my desk, and we’ve caught eyes several times. In fact, I caught him looking at me, or watching me, actually, from across the room earlier today. I can’t stop thinking about him, and when I see him, I like feel it in my stomach and my heart starts beating sooo fast. And yesterday, I swear it felt like he touched a little bit of my hair when he passed by. I know my hair’s nothing like what he’s used to—beautiful coal hair—but it felt like he took a deep breath as his hand grazed it. Like he was inhaling it. I can’t be looking too much into this, can I? I thought you’re supposed to listen to the signs and how you feel when you see someone. At least, that’s what the few who actually still believe in love think…

by eden

Greedy coals everywhere

August 10, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Today at work, I heard some coals talking about their vacations. They were actually complaining that they could only take two weeks this year. Are they out of their minds? Do they not realize how lucky there are? Pearls don’t even get a full weekend, let alone a vacation. Being the low man on the totem pole has literally zero benefits. It seems that the more people have, the more they want. Whatever! I’ve got work to do anyway. Lots of important work. I’ve got to find my perfect mate, tackle the romantic apocalypse and save the pearls, pretty much at the same time. So let them take their little vacations. I’m sure they’ll be whining the entire time, while I find the adventure romance of a lifetime.

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