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by ethics officer

Going Back for Seconds

October 17, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When the romantic apocalypse is upon you and there are no prospects for a young adult fantasy romance in sight, it can be tempting to get back together with one who you once thought was the perfect mate. If you’ve managed to stay friends and you know they’re a good catch, rekindling an old flame can seem right out of the stories in Harlequin romance novels and YA fiction. Yet there are a few things to consider before re-establishing that fantasy romance.

Keep in mind that it’s easy to idealize a past young adult romance, especially when dating and mating isn’t going so well. That said, with a little bit of honesty and a new perspective, you may be able to find a mate in an ex and have a successful adventure romance. You’ll also have to be careful to not repeat the same mistakes so you don’t find yourself immersed in another romantic apocalypse. Below are some tips for navigating this delicate area of dating and mating.

Look for change
The reasons you broke up the first time around must be eliminated. If your ex was the perfect mate except for their excessive partying and drug use, then that element has to be gone for this to become the young adult fantasy romance you want. Perhaps you had some control issues that took the young adult fantasy right out of the mix last time—if you’ve tamed those issues, then it’s possible to make it work this time. Or maybe you lived too far apart and now one of you has moved closer. If a behavioral issue was at the core of the relationship’s demise last time around, then make sure to watch for an extended period of time to make sure those changes are real before you reconcile. If your ex was one of your interracial relationships and it caused issues for them, this is probably something that didn’t just go away and this issue will rear its ugly heads again, killing this adventure romance even quicker than before. Eden Newman experienced exactly that type of situation in her quest to save the Pearls.

Take it slow
As with any new young adult romance, it’s tempting to jump right back in. However, the key to making this fantasy romance last is actually to take it slow. If both of you have changed, then you need to get to know each other again and adjust to each other’s transformations. It’s also good to slow down the physical intimacy and treat this just like you would any other brand new relationship. This helps you make more rational decisions and be sure that it’s time to cancel all your online dating profiles and stop trying to find a mate in other people.

Discuss what went wrong the first time around
Even though you don’t want to rehash the ugly past from your original fantasy romance, having an honest discussion about what went wrong the first time can help you avoid those same issues. It’s important to discuss why it was necessary to change and think of ways to avoid the situations that evoke bad feelings or conflict. For this to grow into the kind of young adult fantasy written about in Harlequin romance novels, you’ve got to be open and honest.

Don’t do it to avoid loneliness
Obviously, for Pearls like Eden Newman and all the others who’ve created online dating profiles on the Save the Pearls site, finding a mate is more about survival than avoiding loneliness. There are also those who only seek interracial dating opportunities and interracial relationships, and loneliness is not a factor. However, for some, the quest stems from a fear of being alone, which is the worst reason to rekindle an old flame. Make sure that you miss the actual person, not just having their companionship. Good luck on making this work! Our next post will tackle the subject of interracial dating…

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by ethics officer

Creating killer online dating profiles

October 14, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Are you fed up with dating and mating in the bar scene but are ready for the perfect young adult fantasy romance? Is it time to create some online dating profiles so you can find a mate? If so, here are some tips for making the best online dating profiles for the Save the Pearls site or any other dating and mating websites designed to help you attract the perfect mate and avoid a romantic apocalypse. Your profile can be the roadmap to your own young adult fantasy.

Start with a drop-dead photo—just make sure it truly looks like you. The next step for getting that young adult romance in motion is to write a description of yourself. Here are a few tips for creating an amazing piece that conveys the real you, written by dating experts and our Save the Pearls serial dater, Eden Newman, in her quest to find a mate for her ideal fantasy romance.

Start with a draft. When you’re writing your description, create a rough draft first. You definitely want to proofread it and perhaps look at it the next day to make sure you’re saying what you want to. While you’re not trying to submit this to a publisher of Harlequin romance novels, you don’t want it to be riddled with errors.

Keep it real. A young adult fantasy romance isn’t actually built on fantasies. If you hate sports, don’t say you love them. While we all want a fun adventure romance, it needs to be adventure that you like. If you’re seeking interracial relationships, be honest about your background. Interracial dating is not easy, so you want to be sure your potential date is open to it if you are.

Don’t worry about perfection. Think of your profile as a work-in-progress. You can always add and delete elements as you search for the perfect mate. Eden Newman shared that she tweaks hers regularly, as she learns more about what she wants from her fantasy romance.

Simplicity is Key. No need to use elaborate vernacular unless you do so on the regular. Stay away from curse words, text-message style abbreviations like OMG and LOL, or urban slang to attract interracial relationships. That type of thing can seem pretentious and inauthentic.

Have fun with it. Most importantly, have fun with your profile. This is the first step in creating an adventure romance and avoiding a romantic apocalypse. Love can be like the stories written about in Harlequin romance novels—enduring, passionate and loyal. You are the creator of your own young adult fantasy. If you seek others interested in interracial dating or a mate who truly believes that young adult romance exists, gear your profile to attract that type of person.

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by eden

Haters everywhere

October 13, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Jamal’s been texting my sexy little messages. I love this feeling… it’s so much fun. I think it’s that honeymoon phase they say happens at the start of a young adult fantasy romance. It makes me so much more in to it. I am loving this part of dating and mating! Of course, girls at work are straight hating on me right now. They’re absolutely seething about my adventure romance. I actually heard one of them say, “Can you believe anyone’s even looking at Eden Newman? Especially him?” Coal girls can be so rude sometimes. I swear, one of them even bumped into me purposely when I was in the bathroom. I even heard them whispering about interracial relationships while they looked over at me. What’s up ladies? Are we 12? Everyone knows that haters are just confused fans! It doesn’t matter anyway, I couldn’t care less about what they think or say about me. They’re not getting texts from Jamal, and everyone has a thing for him. How could they not? They won’t be getting in the way of my fantasy romance. Strap in, friends, I feel a whirlwind coming on.

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by ethics officer

Fun With Flirting

October 12, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When you’re dating and mating, you know you’re on the way to find a mate once you’ve mastered the art of flirting. Whether you’re the same age as Eden Newman (not yet 18) or a successfully mated senior, creating the adventure romance of a lifetime is always a work-in-progress, and we can always continue to refine our flirting skills. It’s key to the success of your young adult fantasy romance and avoiding a romantic apocalypse. Even if you’ve been with your perfect mate for years, a little flirtation keeps the spark of a fantasy romance alive.

Yes, eye contact is instrumental to attract a young adult romance—how many ideas for young adult fantasy movies and Harlequin romance novels were sparked by a longing glance across the room? Yet making that young adult fantasy romance last a lifetime depends more on your dating and mating techniques. After all, we wouldn’t need the Save the Pearls website if everyone already knew how to find a mate and keep them!

Flirting is actually good for you—it mproves your overall wellness. Flirting your way to that fantasy romance boosts endorphins and your immune system! Studies show that people who flirt regularly have higher white blood-cell counts than those who don’t. Having a little adventure romance in your life can help you live longer—and save your life if you’re a Pearl. Even setting up online dating profiles and flirting online can make you happier and healthier.

Bonding in interracial relationships starts with flirting and gaining a common ground together. Flirting transcends cultures borders—two women living in different corners of the world may have nothing in common, except when it comes to attracting attention. They both bat their eyelashes, smile coyly, avert their eyes, and even flip their hair! It’s as if we all have an innate knowledge of how to create a fantasy romance and attract the perfect mate.

Flirting and infusing the young adult fantasy relationship isn’t limited to workplaces, social gatherings or browsing online dating profiles. Some people flirt while driving in traffic! If you’re trying to avoid a romantic apocalypse, you should probably make the most out of every moment of your day. You can also send flirty messages via text or be old school and send notes—many of the romances in Harlequin romance novels began with a simple note.

Keep safety in mind. Sometimes men may misunderstand a woman’s message or mistake routine behavior for flirting. This is also important in interracial dating situations—different cultures and races may communicate differently from each other. These differences must be respected, especially if those involved are searching for serious interracial relationships.

Keep visiting our site to keep track of Eden Newman and her Save the Pearls campaign, as well as her journey of interracial dating and finding young adult romance.

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by ethics officer

Avoiding a romantic apocalypse–how to chill out a nightmare date

October 7, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Have you ever had a date you expected to be a young adult fantasy turn into a session of uptight silence or a nerve wracking romantic apocalypse? When you try to find a mate, you may browse online dating profiles, chat and talk on the phone. Despite great rapport during initial communication, a potential night of young adult fantasy romance can turn into one filled with awkward moments. It’s too bad that Harlequin romance novels don’t come with instructions!

In this type of dating and mating situation, you can either make an excuse to go home early or make some moves that can turn the date into the adventure romance you’re looking for. Since you don’t want to let a little nervousness blind you from a potentially perfect mate, it’s best to try to make the best of the evening—after all, you never know what can happen!

When the tension is almost palpable,  use some humor to lighten things up and acknowledge the awkwardness by making a joke about the silence. This shows your date that you can relate and puts you both at ease, setting up the potential for a young adult romance.

Another technique is to ask questions and sincerely listen to the responses of your potentially perfect mate. When you’re dating and mating and uncertain of someone’s interest, it can be unsettling. By showing genuine attention, your date will feel comfortable to let down their guard and be open to an adventure romance. We’re talking real interest—you can see it in a person’s expression when they fake it. Make eye contact, laugh when appropriate and encourage your date by interjecting positively from time to time. The results will be almost immediate and turn you right back around from the edge of a romantic apocalypse. If they’re very passionate about their work or perhaps a cause they’re involved with like Eden Newman and her quest to Save the Pearls, ask lots of questions and show sincere enthusiasm.

When a date deflects questions and is too nervous to talk, lighten things up and give the night an element of fantasy romance by talking about yourself. Tell your date about your day or what’s going on at work—though you probably want to leave out any mention of looking at online dating profiles or reading harlequin romance novels, lol. If you appear to be having fun, your date will feel less pressure to entertain you and eventually relax so you can engage them to talk about themselves.

You can also share an embarrassing story or confession with your date. Sometimes a little self-deprecation and willingness to show your humanity lightens the mood and puts you back on the road towards a young adult fantasy romance. The ability to laugh at yourself shows that you’re not perfect and will show someone who’s also trying to find a mate or a young adult romance that you’re fun and easy to get along with. When Eden Newman was on her quest to save the pearls and find a fantasy romance, she would tell the story of how she fell off her skateboard on her first day at the new job. It demonstrated to her dates that she was funny, lighthearted and a potential candidate for a young adult fantasy relationship.

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by ethics officer

The Secret Relationship—Adventure Romance or Bad Idea?

October 5, 2011 in Apocalypse World

On your quest for that perfect young adult romance, have you ever found yourself immersed in a secret relationship? A covert type of adventure romance that was thrilling and exciting, but mostly because you kept this fantasy romance under wraps?

In the search for your perfect mate, you may find yourself dating and mating with someone you want to keep a secret. Your could be interracial dating situation but your family doesn’t approve of interracial relationships. Maybe you thought you found a young adult fantasy romance with a coworker, but didn’t want your gossipy colleagues to know, or there was a policy against workplace dating. Perhaps you’re in an undercover relationship with someone you know is not your perfect mate, so you set up online dating profiles to keep your options open. There are many reasons stealth relationships can occur, but while secrecy can give them elements of young adult fantasy and allure, there can be plenty of consequences as well.

Studies have shown that secret relationships were associated with less commitment. Those involved tend to not think of each other as partners, which limits the relationship’s feelings of intimacy and connection—sounds like the makings of a romantic apocalypse, rather than the enduring love written about in Harlequin romance novels. When you’re trying to find a mate or create the young adult fantasy romance of your dreams, it’s best to come from an honest place and not have to lie to the others in your life. An adventure romance is about having fun while you’re dating and mating, not feeling bad about being dishonest all the time.

Eden Newman found herself in stealth situation before—she was secretly dating a coal who didn’t want his family to know he was interracial dating. While she was fine with interracial relationships, he was not, and this led to much fighting, embarrassing moments where she had to hide, and ultimately led to a full-on romantic apocalypse, not the young adult romance she was seeking. This is partly why Eden Newman founded the Save the Pearls campaign and encourages others to create online dating profiles to find a mate and a fantasy romance.

Ultimately, if you’re trying for a young adult fantasy relationship, hiding it will most likely undermine its foundation. While secret trysts may be the basis for many Harlequin romance novels, it’s not something we recommend here at Save the Pearls.

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by eden

When it rains, it definitely pours…

October 5, 2011 in Eden's Posts

It’s so funny and true about that old cliché saying—when it rains, it pours. Now that Jamal is blatantly vibing me back, all of a sudden others are looking my direction. With the look—the “I’m trying to find a mate” one. Only Pearls, of course, but still. We didn’t get to go out this weekend because he had to cover for someone who just didn’t come to work, so today when I came in, there was a note on my desk! All it said was “Can’t wait for the rain check,” but it was enough to give me that electric feeling again. The anticipation is wildly building up, I feel like I’m going to burst when we finally go out. Then I saw him in the hall and he said, “Our first date is set—Thursday it is.” Wow. I’m counting the hours until I get to begin this adventure romance.

Then I saw this Pearl on my way home, who was actually a hottie, and he stopped and asked what I was doing tonight. I gave him my number. It’s time to diversify. Not putting all my young adult romance eggs in one basket, hahaha. Wow, I’m just full of clichés today. Time to go work on the Save the Pearls campaign!

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by eden

Her romantic apocalypse = my young adult fantasy romance

September 30, 2011 in Eden's Posts, Fantasy romance

I’m super excited—the boy I’m crushing on slipped a note on my desk today. I saw him do it when I was coming back from my break. Looks like he wants to get some one-on-one time in this weekend. I have no idea what he’s got in store or if he’s just toying with me, but I honestly, my gut tells me it’s going to be rad!! Perhaps it’s my own young adult fantasy romance in the making! I’d just about given up on that ever happening, but maybe this is it. Maybe he’s the one who will save me from my doomed fate. I won’t have to worry about finding a mate through Save the Pearls and I’ll actually experience what my mother always told me about—true love. I never believe it truly existed in this apocalypse world

My co-worker is sooo jealous and keeps trying to ruin my game. I saw her trying to flirt with him earlier today, when I was coming in to work, but he wasn’t even making eye contact with her. Funny, because she’s a Coal just like him, so you’d think he’d be all over that. Just goes to show that he’s not scared of interracial dating at all. Looks like her romantic apocalypse = my young adult fantasy romance.

Not that I don’t want everyone to find their perfect mate–I want everyone to avoid a romantic apocalypse! But she never lets me forget I’m a just a Pearl. She’s mean and conniving and always has something horrible to say. Sometimes I truly think she’s evil. Anyways—she’s whatever and now I’m wondering what this weekend has in store. Time for a mani-pedi and some relaxation time, maybe I’ll read a YA novel or young adult fantasy romance book and put my feet up for a minute.

This Save the Pearls stuff can be a little exhausting.

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by ethics officer

Fantasy romance and exclusivity

September 28, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When you’re going through the dating and mating process and trying to find the perfect mate, there may be times when you’re uncertain of your relationship status. In our last post, we discussed ways to determine whether your young adult fantasy romance was on the right track or if you’re headed for a romantic apocalypse. Interesting tidbit: Save the Pearls membership rose immediately after that was posted. Perhaps some of our readers put down the young adult books and Harlequin romance novels to spend some time creating quality online dating profiles.

Here are some other ways to know whether it’s time to move on and find a mate or if you’re on the way to that fantasy romance.

Gifting
A recent poll found that when men buy women gifts, they were more likely to consider the relationship on a serious level and that they may think they’ve found the perfect mate. When the gift is expensive, it’s an even greater indicator that your young adult romance is not just a passing fling. If gifts are never a part of your interaction, it may be a sign that you’re headed right for a romantic apocalypse.

Doin’ the Wild Thing
While no one in the poll said that sexual intimacy indicated exclusivity, it was considered important in a serious adventure romance. However, men also said they consider sex necessary in a serious relationship; this may be why they view it as a critical aspect of dating and mating.

The Total Package

The most important thing is to look for all of the signs. These behaviors should all be taking place if you want your adventure romance to have lasting power. When you’re trying to find a mate and a fantasy romance, it’s best to discuss exclusivity at some point to confirm this isn’t just a whirlwind experience taken from the stories in Harlequin romance novels. Watching for these signs and taking notice of your date’s behavior will help you feel confident that this is a young adult fantasy relationship and not the road to a romantic apocalypse.

Keep checking our posts to learn more about young adult fantasy romance, interracial dating and online dating profiles, while tuning in to Eden Newman and her quest to Save the Pearls.

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by eden

It’s a new moon tonight

September 28, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Tonight’s a new moon. That means new beginnings—and I’ll take that. I finally spent some one-on-one time with my guy today and now I know the attraction is mutual. No question about it. He told me he’s been in interracial relationships before and that race doesn’t matter to him at all. Him saying that makes him even hotter. Now I wonder what’s next—I know for sure that he wants to hang out outside of work, so I guess I have to just wait and see. I’m going to let him make the first move, even though we both know he holds all the cards.

Maybe I will avoid my romantic apocalypse after all.

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