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by eden

The romantic apocalypse hits again

October 28, 2011 in Eden's Posts

I wonder if you all read the article I’ve been blasting out everywhere. If not, click here to learn about the missing Pearl. She didn’t find a mate in time—but it wasn’t just a young adult fantasy romance that she missed out on. She’s gone. No one can find her. I am so sick about it. I haven’t slept since she disappeared, and I’ve been searching everywhere. A few others have been helping me, but everyone’s so scared, they only hang for a little bit. Jamal keeps hitting me up, wanting to see me, but I can’t focus on anything except finding Gretchen. While I hope this doesn’t choke out the chances of my adventure romance growing, she is so much more important to me in this moment. I feel like the police are doing nothing about it either—they think she must have just taken off since she’s an adult now—a single adult. Ugh.

What to wear for young adult romance

October 27, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When you’re trying to find a mate, you always want to make a stellar first impression. While we always hope that we’ll find a young adult fantasy romance based on our inner beauty, the truth is, when you’re dating and mating, your potentially perfect mate is most likely judging you on your physical appearance. Plus, your attire and style reveals a lot about your personality.

While a great outfit may not affect your date’s impression of you, a bad outfit most definitely will hinder your chances for a young adult romance. We polled our dating and mating experts for some tips on finding attire that will improve your chances of obtaining that perfect adventure romance with the perfect mate.

A standard rule, even when you’re not trying to find a mate for a fantasy romance, is that being underdressed is always better than being overdressed. This is true for the whole courting period of a young adult fantasy romance, but especially on first dates. More importantly, make sure you wear something that makes you feel confident and good about yourself.

Women should choose flattering silhouettes and nothing too revealing or tight—you want to attract an ideal young adult romance not a one night stand. Don’t show too much skin or cleavage, but choose your best asset and wear something that showcases it. Make sure your outfit fits well so you’re not adjusting it the entire date. Eden Newman shared one of her interracial dating experiences with us—she went super casual to a dinner hosted by her Coal boyfriend’s sister, who was appalled by her flip flops.

Men should avoid extremes when dressing for their potential adventure romance—it’s not the time to try out a new look. Wear something simple and classic. Even if it’s casual, avoid crocs or running shoes (unless your date entails working out). No matter what, stay away from white socks! The object of your fantasy romance will run away fast, even if she’s wearing stilettos.

These are also good principles to keep in mind when creating online dating profiles on a website like Save the Pearls. You want your date to be attracted to you as a whole, not because you’re falling out of your blouse. While you’re looking for the ideal young adult fantasy relationship, you need to look like yourself in your online dating profiles, not your fantasy of what you look like. While avoiding a romantic apocalypse requires intense effort, you should by no means fabricate your looks in order to attract a date.

Stay tuned to Eden Newman as she works to Save the Pearls while avoiding her own romantic apocalypse.

by eden

Doom and gloom in adventure romance novels

October 26, 2011 in Adventure romance tips

I was just starting to believe again—that love exists, and that even though I’m a Pearl, I would find the type of love you read about in adventure romance novels.

Then suddenly, though it’s not really a surprise, Gretchen disappeared. Literally just a day after her 18th birthday. It’s so obvious that they got her. I’ve been working so hard to Save the Pearls, but I couldn’t even save my best friend.What sucks the most is that she actually thought she might have found THE ONE. The one who was going to save her from the fate of a Pearl, the one who was going to show her that true love really does exist, the one who would change her life forever.

Gretchen was always so positive. We shared a love of adventure romance novels, Labradors like Austin, and working for a higher cause. Together, we founded the Save the Pearls movement. We honestly thought we could really make a difference and change things. Now, I’ve got to continue on without her. It’s a scary prospect, but I know I have to honor her by never giving up. I will do this until my time runs out. I don’t care if I get caught and I don’t care what the repercussions are. Even thought we all know I’d much rather be at home reading young adult fantasy romance books.

My emotions are like a roller coaster—one minute I’m depressed and the next I’m angry. I can’t even think about Jamal or us having this relationship that’s right out of some young adult fantasy romance novel. He was totally indifferent when I told him the news. He was like, “Whatever,” and then started telling me some stupid story about what happened earlier at work. I guess Coals just can’t really relate, can they? Now I’m not sure that this whole interracial dating can really work. What I am sure of is that I’m going to spend every waking, breathing moment looking for Gretchen.

Be present

October 25, 2011 in Apocalypse World

If you’ve been playing the dating and mating game for a while and you finally meet someone you think could be the perfect mate, you may get a little nervous about going on dates and making them fun, bonding experiences. When you’re trying to create a young adult fantasy romance, it’s important to make sure that your dates are memorable… in a good way.

Start by being present—this is one of the best ways for taking the beginnings of a young adult fantasy into the type of adventure romance that’s written about in old school harlequin romance novels. When you’re in the moment, it’s obvious—and not just relevant to trying to find a mate or locking down that young adult fantasy romance. When you stay present, it makes your entire life better and more enjoyable.

Make it a point to truly listen to your date, making eye contact and offering interjections here and there to let them know you’re engaged. If you met through posting online dating profiles on a dating and mating site like Save the Pearls, you didn’t have to worry about this factor at first. In person, it’s an entirely different game. You need to listen and pay attention to the little things when you’re getting to know someone. Even if you’re ultimately not interested in them, they could be the perfect mate for a friend—if you truly listen to what they have to say you may recognize a potential young adult romance they could have with someone else that you’re close to. Guess who’ll get the bouquet thrown their way at the wedding!

Stay connected with the moment—leave your phone in the car so that you’re not texting, checking Facebook, or browsing online dating profiles. Be polite—give the person the same courtesy you expect. When you’re trying to find a mate and a fantasy romance, you just can’t be rude. You never know who your date may know! Plus, it’s practice. Eden Newman shared a video in the “Watch” section of the Save the Pearls site, of her friend who basically experienced her own romantic apocalypse on camera. It was awful—definitely not the basis of a plot for one of her favorite harlequin romance novels. The guy was a jerk, and while he was looking for a fantasy romance, it was not with her, and gave her no attention after he got what he wanted. He actually wanted to pursue an interracial dating situation. Perhaps if they spoke about that and paid attention to each other dying one of their dates, one of them would have recognized this and avoided their whole on-camera romantic apocalypse.

When you want to bring your young adult fantasy to life, being present is an amazing tool. Whether you dream of interracial relationships or an adventure romance, you’ve got to be patient and live in the moment. Sometimes it’s difficult to watch Eden Newman in her quest to find her own fantasy romance—because of her imminent deadline, it’s hard for her to not worry about the future. Yet even if she only has a few weeks left, being present every moment of every day will help her manifest the young adult romance she’s dreaming of.

Making it a fantasy romance again

October 21, 2011 in Apocalypse World

After dating and mating for awhile, you find the perfect mate and are suddenly immersed in the perfect young adult fantasy romance. It’s heaven for a bit, but then the honeymoon period ends and that adventure romance hits a little bump in the road. How do you improve the relationship and avoid a romantic apocalypse?

Even the most amazing fantasy romance and love stories from Harlequin romance novels hit rough patches. The good news is, it doesn’t mean you have to start your quest to find a mate again. The relationship just needs a little more fantasy romance in the form of fun and spontaneity. Dating and mating successfully is a work-in-progress. Eden Newman forwarded this awesome question and asked us to share some tips for keeping your adventure romance intact so you don’t have to start browsing online dating profiles again.

Be present
With all that we have going on in our lives, coupled with the population’s addiction to technology that keeps us constantly connected, it can be difficult to be present in the moment. Take time every day, with some extended blocks of time during nights and weekends, to disconnect from everything else and give your young adult romance a little quality time. Block out some time that is just for your relationship and nothing else—turn off all your phones, computers, iPads, etc. and just listen to your partner and really connect. Your perfect mate needs to know you are really there and present for them, and they will be able to tell the difference when you’re multitasking, even if it’s subconsciously.

Laugh
Laughter is key to keeping that young adult fantasy romance alive and healthy. Do something together that makes you laugh, whether it’s going to a funny movie or something silly like playing video games at the arcade—just anything that you both think is hilarious.

Get out of your comfort zone
Another way to boost your fantasy romance is to do things that gets you both out of your comfort zone. When you find a mate, it’s easy to fall into a routine that may lead to a rut. Consciously plan to do things you’ve both never done, whether as daring as skydiving or bungee jumping to simply trying a new type of food. On the Save the Pearls website, your profile asks for the top five things on your bucket list, and those items actually improve the appeal of many online dating profiles.  Tackle items like that if you’re feeling ambitious! Either way, trying something new or daring makes you grow individually and is bonding. Even the characters in harlequin romance novels are usually forced to get out of their comfort zone, and the result is usually an unforgettable young adult romance.

Dedicate time for dates
Make sure you have time that is sacred and uninterruptable for your relationship. Schedule date nights and leave your phone in the car during dinner. Set aside a few time periods per week that you won’t sacrifice for anything else. Even Eden Newman has to put aside her campaign to save the pearls so she can cultivate her young adult fantasy relationship.

Focus on the good

The best way to avoid a romantic apocalypse is to focus on its polar opposite: the good in life. Take time remember and appreciate what you love about your partner—and let them know exactly what you’re thinking. Focus on what is really making you happy in your life and talk about it and try to manifest more of it. For example, if your relationship is troubled by the type of issues that often accompany interracial relationships, instead of dwelling on those aspects, focus on what you both have in common and enjoy. When Eden was navigating her own interracial dating experience, she focused only on what attracted her to her partner, not what the rest of her world was thinking. No matter what, don’t blame your partner for the imperfections in your life and relationship.

by eden

I can do it all, right?

October 20, 2011 in Eden's Posts

I decided to name my book is going to be Save the Pearls Part One REVEALING EDEN. It’s almost done, but there’s more to tell, so it’s going to be a two part series. Even though I’m so excited about this fantasy romance I think I’ve found, I am still as determined as ever to continue my quest to Save the Pearls. I never thought I’d really find a mate, especially the perfect mate—but now I think that there may actually still love in this world. I hope that by getting my story down on paper, I’ll be able to help others in time to avoid the whole romantic apocalypse thing we’ve been hearing about since birth. So I am writing every minute of the day that I’m not at work or stealing away to spend time with Jamal. I will not let this adventure romance sidetrack my writing—I can do it all!

by eden

Is this really happening?

October 18, 2011 in Eden's Posts

It’s moving really fast with Jamal. He’s saying things that are kind of freaking me out—that he’s never met anyone like me or felt this way before. After being closed off to adventure romance for so long and thinking of it just as a survival tool, it’s amazing to have someone be so into me—let alone someone who is such a catch! It’s almost scary, I can’t even believe this is happening. I may just avoid my romantic apocalypse after all! When people would tell me stories about how they found their young adult fantasy romance, I would secretly balk at them. Now I know it exists, even for a Pearl. Hopefully, this will be the end of my dating and mating journey and the beginning of life with my perfect mate. Perhaps the young adult fantasy really does exist…

Going Back for Seconds

October 17, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When the romantic apocalypse is upon you and there are no prospects for a young adult fantasy romance in sight, it can be tempting to get back together with one who you once thought was the perfect mate. If you’ve managed to stay friends and you know they’re a good catch, rekindling an old flame can seem right out of the stories in Harlequin romance novels and YA fiction. Yet there are a few things to consider before re-establishing that fantasy romance.

Keep in mind that it’s easy to idealize a past young adult romance, especially when dating and mating isn’t going so well. That said, with a little bit of honesty and a new perspective, you may be able to find a mate in an ex and have a successful adventure romance. You’ll also have to be careful to not repeat the same mistakes so you don’t find yourself immersed in another romantic apocalypse. Below are some tips for navigating this delicate area of dating and mating.

Look for change
The reasons you broke up the first time around must be eliminated. If your ex was the perfect mate except for their excessive partying and drug use, then that element has to be gone for this to become the young adult fantasy romance you want. Perhaps you had some control issues that took the young adult fantasy right out of the mix last time—if you’ve tamed those issues, then it’s possible to make it work this time. Or maybe you lived too far apart and now one of you has moved closer. If a behavioral issue was at the core of the relationship’s demise last time around, then make sure to watch for an extended period of time to make sure those changes are real before you reconcile. If your ex was one of your interracial relationships and it caused issues for them, this is probably something that didn’t just go away and this issue will rear its ugly heads again, killing this adventure romance even quicker than before. Eden Newman experienced exactly that type of situation in her quest to save the Pearls.

Take it slow
As with any new young adult romance, it’s tempting to jump right back in. However, the key to making this fantasy romance last is actually to take it slow. If both of you have changed, then you need to get to know each other again and adjust to each other’s transformations. It’s also good to slow down the physical intimacy and treat this just like you would any other brand new relationship. This helps you make more rational decisions and be sure that it’s time to cancel all your online dating profiles and stop trying to find a mate in other people.

Discuss what went wrong the first time around
Even though you don’t want to rehash the ugly past from your original fantasy romance, having an honest discussion about what went wrong the first time can help you avoid those same issues. It’s important to discuss why it was necessary to change and think of ways to avoid the situations that evoke bad feelings or conflict. For this to grow into the kind of young adult fantasy written about in Harlequin romance novels, you’ve got to be open and honest.

Don’t do it to avoid loneliness
Obviously, for Pearls like Eden Newman and all the others who’ve created online dating profiles on the Save the Pearls site, finding a mate is more about survival than avoiding loneliness. There are also those who only seek interracial dating opportunities and interracial relationships, and loneliness is not a factor. However, for some, the quest stems from a fear of being alone, which is the worst reason to rekindle an old flame. Make sure that you miss the actual person, not just having their companionship. Good luck on making this work! Our next post will tackle the subject of interracial dating…

Creating killer online dating profiles

October 14, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Are you fed up with dating and mating in the bar scene but are ready for the perfect young adult fantasy romance? Is it time to create some online dating profiles so you can find a mate? If so, here are some tips for making the best online dating profiles for the Save the Pearls site or any other dating and mating websites designed to help you attract the perfect mate and avoid a romantic apocalypse. Your profile can be the roadmap to your own young adult fantasy.

Start with a drop-dead photo—just make sure it truly looks like you. The next step for getting that young adult romance in motion is to write a description of yourself. Here are a few tips for creating an amazing piece that conveys the real you, written by dating experts and our Save the Pearls serial dater, Eden Newman, in her quest to find a mate for her ideal fantasy romance.

Start with a draft. When you’re writing your description, create a rough draft first. You definitely want to proofread it and perhaps look at it the next day to make sure you’re saying what you want to. While you’re not trying to submit this to a publisher of Harlequin romance novels, you don’t want it to be riddled with errors.

Keep it real. A young adult fantasy romance isn’t actually built on fantasies. If you hate sports, don’t say you love them. While we all want a fun adventure romance, it needs to be adventure that you like. If you’re seeking interracial relationships, be honest about your background. Interracial dating is not easy, so you want to be sure your potential date is open to it if you are.

Don’t worry about perfection. Think of your profile as a work-in-progress. You can always add and delete elements as you search for the perfect mate. Eden Newman shared that she tweaks hers regularly, as she learns more about what she wants from her fantasy romance.

Simplicity is Key. No need to use elaborate vernacular unless you do so on the regular. Stay away from curse words, text-message style abbreviations like OMG and LOL, or urban slang to attract interracial relationships. That type of thing can seem pretentious and inauthentic.

Have fun with it. Most importantly, have fun with your profile. This is the first step in creating an adventure romance and avoiding a romantic apocalypse. Love can be like the stories written about in Harlequin romance novels—enduring, passionate and loyal. You are the creator of your own young adult fantasy. If you seek others interested in interracial dating or a mate who truly believes that young adult romance exists, gear your profile to attract that type of person.

by eden

Haters everywhere

October 13, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Jamal’s been texting my sexy little messages. I love this feeling… it’s so much fun. I think it’s that honeymoon phase they say happens at the start of a young adult fantasy romance. It makes me so much more in to it. I am loving this part of dating and mating! Of course, girls at work are straight hating on me right now. They’re absolutely seething about my adventure romance. I actually heard one of them say, “Can you believe anyone’s even looking at Eden Newman? Especially him?” Coal girls can be so rude sometimes. I swear, one of them even bumped into me purposely when I was in the bathroom. I even heard them whispering about interracial relationships while they looked over at me. What’s up ladies? Are we 12? Everyone knows that haters are just confused fans! It doesn’t matter anyway, I couldn’t care less about what they think or say about me. They’re not getting texts from Jamal, and everyone has a thing for him. How could they not? They won’t be getting in the way of my fantasy romance. Strap in, friends, I feel a whirlwind coming on.

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