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Going Back for Seconds

October 17, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When the romantic apocalypse is upon you and there are no prospects for a young adult fantasy romance in sight, it can be tempting to get back together with one who you once thought was the perfect mate. If you’ve managed to stay friends and you know they’re a good catch, rekindling an old flame can seem right out of the stories in Harlequin romance novels and YA fiction. Yet there are a few things to consider before re-establishing that fantasy romance.

Keep in mind that it’s easy to idealize a past young adult romance, especially when dating and mating isn’t going so well. That said, with a little bit of honesty and a new perspective, you may be able to find a mate in an ex and have a successful adventure romance. You’ll also have to be careful to not repeat the same mistakes so you don’t find yourself immersed in another romantic apocalypse. Below are some tips for navigating this delicate area of dating and mating.

Look for change
The reasons you broke up the first time around must be eliminated. If your ex was the perfect mate except for their excessive partying and drug use, then that element has to be gone for this to become the young adult fantasy romance you want. Perhaps you had some control issues that took the young adult fantasy right out of the mix last time—if you’ve tamed those issues, then it’s possible to make it work this time. Or maybe you lived too far apart and now one of you has moved closer. If a behavioral issue was at the core of the relationship’s demise last time around, then make sure to watch for an extended period of time to make sure those changes are real before you reconcile. If your ex was one of your interracial relationships and it caused issues for them, this is probably something that didn’t just go away and this issue will rear its ugly heads again, killing this adventure romance even quicker than before. Eden Newman experienced exactly that type of situation in her quest to save the Pearls.

Take it slow
As with any new young adult romance, it’s tempting to jump right back in. However, the key to making this fantasy romance last is actually to take it slow. If both of you have changed, then you need to get to know each other again and adjust to each other’s transformations. It’s also good to slow down the physical intimacy and treat this just like you would any other brand new relationship. This helps you make more rational decisions and be sure that it’s time to cancel all your online dating profiles and stop trying to find a mate in other people.

Discuss what went wrong the first time around
Even though you don’t want to rehash the ugly past from your original fantasy romance, having an honest discussion about what went wrong the first time can help you avoid those same issues. It’s important to discuss why it was necessary to change and think of ways to avoid the situations that evoke bad feelings or conflict. For this to grow into the kind of young adult fantasy written about in Harlequin romance novels, you’ve got to be open and honest.

Don’t do it to avoid loneliness
Obviously, for Pearls like Eden Newman and all the others who’ve created online dating profiles on the Save the Pearls site, finding a mate is more about survival than avoiding loneliness. There are also those who only seek interracial dating opportunities and interracial relationships, and loneliness is not a factor. However, for some, the quest stems from a fear of being alone, which is the worst reason to rekindle an old flame. Make sure that you miss the actual person, not just having their companionship. Good luck on making this work! Our next post will tackle the subject of interracial dating…

Creating killer online dating profiles

October 14, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Are you fed up with dating and mating in the bar scene but are ready for the perfect young adult fantasy romance? Is it time to create some online dating profiles so you can find a mate? If so, here are some tips for making the best online dating profiles for the Save the Pearls site or any other dating and mating websites designed to help you attract the perfect mate and avoid a romantic apocalypse. Your profile can be the roadmap to your own young adult fantasy.

Start with a drop-dead photo—just make sure it truly looks like you. The next step for getting that young adult romance in motion is to write a description of yourself. Here are a few tips for creating an amazing piece that conveys the real you, written by dating experts and our Save the Pearls serial dater, Eden Newman, in her quest to find a mate for her ideal fantasy romance.

Start with a draft. When you’re writing your description, create a rough draft first. You definitely want to proofread it and perhaps look at it the next day to make sure you’re saying what you want to. While you’re not trying to submit this to a publisher of Harlequin romance novels, you don’t want it to be riddled with errors.

Keep it real. A young adult fantasy romance isn’t actually built on fantasies. If you hate sports, don’t say you love them. While we all want a fun adventure romance, it needs to be adventure that you like. If you’re seeking interracial relationships, be honest about your background. Interracial dating is not easy, so you want to be sure your potential date is open to it if you are.

Don’t worry about perfection. Think of your profile as a work-in-progress. You can always add and delete elements as you search for the perfect mate. Eden Newman shared that she tweaks hers regularly, as she learns more about what she wants from her fantasy romance.

Simplicity is Key. No need to use elaborate vernacular unless you do so on the regular. Stay away from curse words, text-message style abbreviations like OMG and LOL, or urban slang to attract interracial relationships. That type of thing can seem pretentious and inauthentic.

Have fun with it. Most importantly, have fun with your profile. This is the first step in creating an adventure romance and avoiding a romantic apocalypse. Love can be like the stories written about in Harlequin romance novels—enduring, passionate and loyal. You are the creator of your own young adult fantasy. If you seek others interested in interracial dating or a mate who truly believes that young adult romance exists, gear your profile to attract that type of person.

by eden

Haters everywhere

October 13, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Jamal’s been texting my sexy little messages. I love this feeling… it’s so much fun. I think it’s that honeymoon phase they say happens at the start of a young adult fantasy romance. It makes me so much more in to it. I am loving this part of dating and mating! Of course, girls at work are straight hating on me right now. They’re absolutely seething about my adventure romance. I actually heard one of them say, “Can you believe anyone’s even looking at Eden Newman? Especially him?” Coal girls can be so rude sometimes. I swear, one of them even bumped into me purposely when I was in the bathroom. I even heard them whispering about interracial relationships while they looked over at me. What’s up ladies? Are we 12? Everyone knows that haters are just confused fans! It doesn’t matter anyway, I couldn’t care less about what they think or say about me. They’re not getting texts from Jamal, and everyone has a thing for him. How could they not? They won’t be getting in the way of my fantasy romance. Strap in, friends, I feel a whirlwind coming on.

Fun With Flirting

October 12, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When you’re dating and mating, you know you’re on the way to find a mate once you’ve mastered the art of flirting. Whether you’re the same age as Eden Newman (not yet 18) or a successfully mated senior, creating the adventure romance of a lifetime is always a work-in-progress, and we can always continue to refine our flirting skills. It’s key to the success of your young adult fantasy romance and avoiding a romantic apocalypse. Even if you’ve been with your perfect mate for years, a little flirtation keeps the spark of a fantasy romance alive.

Yes, eye contact is instrumental to attract a young adult romance—how many ideas for young adult fantasy movies and Harlequin romance novels were sparked by a longing glance across the room? Yet making that young adult fantasy romance last a lifetime depends more on your dating and mating techniques. After all, we wouldn’t need the Save the Pearls website if everyone already knew how to find a mate and keep them!

Flirting is actually good for you—it mproves your overall wellness. Flirting your way to that fantasy romance boosts endorphins and your immune system! Studies show that people who flirt regularly have higher white blood-cell counts than those who don’t. Having a little adventure romance in your life can help you live longer—and save your life if you’re a Pearl. Even setting up online dating profiles and flirting online can make you happier and healthier.

Bonding in interracial relationships starts with flirting and gaining a common ground together. Flirting transcends cultures borders—two women living in different corners of the world may have nothing in common, except when it comes to attracting attention. They both bat their eyelashes, smile coyly, avert their eyes, and even flip their hair! It’s as if we all have an innate knowledge of how to create a fantasy romance and attract the perfect mate.

Flirting and infusing the young adult fantasy relationship isn’t limited to workplaces, social gatherings or browsing online dating profiles. Some people flirt while driving in traffic! If you’re trying to avoid a romantic apocalypse, you should probably make the most out of every moment of your day. You can also send flirty messages via text or be old school and send notes—many of the romances in Harlequin romance novels began with a simple note.

Keep safety in mind. Sometimes men may misunderstand a woman’s message or mistake routine behavior for flirting. This is also important in interracial dating situations—different cultures and races may communicate differently from each other. These differences must be respected, especially if those involved are searching for serious interracial relationships.

Keep visiting our site to keep track of Eden Newman and her Save the Pearls campaign, as well as her journey of interracial dating and finding young adult romance.

The Secret Relationship—Adventure Romance or Bad Idea?

October 5, 2011 in Apocalypse World

On your quest for that perfect young adult romance, have you ever found yourself immersed in a secret relationship? A covert type of adventure romance that was thrilling and exciting, but mostly because you kept this fantasy romance under wraps?

In the search for your perfect mate, you may find yourself dating and mating with someone you want to keep a secret. Your could be interracial dating situation but your family doesn’t approve of interracial relationships. Maybe you thought you found a young adult fantasy romance with a coworker, but didn’t want your gossipy colleagues to know, or there was a policy against workplace dating. Perhaps you’re in an undercover relationship with someone you know is not your perfect mate, so you set up online dating profiles to keep your options open. There are many reasons stealth relationships can occur, but while secrecy can give them elements of young adult fantasy and allure, there can be plenty of consequences as well.

Studies have shown that secret relationships were associated with less commitment. Those involved tend to not think of each other as partners, which limits the relationship’s feelings of intimacy and connection—sounds like the makings of a romantic apocalypse, rather than the enduring love written about in Harlequin romance novels. When you’re trying to find a mate or create the young adult fantasy romance of your dreams, it’s best to come from an honest place and not have to lie to the others in your life. An adventure romance is about having fun while you’re dating and mating, not feeling bad about being dishonest all the time.

Eden Newman found herself in stealth situation before—she was secretly dating a coal who didn’t want his family to know he was interracial dating. While she was fine with interracial relationships, he was not, and this led to much fighting, embarrassing moments where she had to hide, and ultimately led to a full-on romantic apocalypse, not the young adult romance she was seeking. This is partly why Eden Newman founded the Save the Pearls campaign and encourages others to create online dating profiles to find a mate and a fantasy romance.

Ultimately, if you’re trying for a young adult fantasy relationship, hiding it will most likely undermine its foundation. While secret trysts may be the basis for many Harlequin romance novels, it’s not something we recommend here at Save the Pearls.

Fantasy romance and exclusivity

September 28, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When you’re going through the dating and mating process and trying to find the perfect mate, there may be times when you’re uncertain of your relationship status. In our last post, we discussed ways to determine whether your young adult fantasy romance was on the right track or if you’re headed for a romantic apocalypse. Interesting tidbit: Save the Pearls membership rose immediately after that was posted. Perhaps some of our readers put down the young adult books and Harlequin romance novels to spend some time creating quality online dating profiles.

Here are some other ways to know whether it’s time to move on and find a mate or if you’re on the way to that fantasy romance.

Gifting
A recent poll found that when men buy women gifts, they were more likely to consider the relationship on a serious level and that they may think they’ve found the perfect mate. When the gift is expensive, it’s an even greater indicator that your young adult romance is not just a passing fling. If gifts are never a part of your interaction, it may be a sign that you’re headed right for a romantic apocalypse.

Doin’ the Wild Thing
While no one in the poll said that sexual intimacy indicated exclusivity, it was considered important in a serious adventure romance. However, men also said they consider sex necessary in a serious relationship; this may be why they view it as a critical aspect of dating and mating.

The Total Package

The most important thing is to look for all of the signs. These behaviors should all be taking place if you want your adventure romance to have lasting power. When you’re trying to find a mate and a fantasy romance, it’s best to discuss exclusivity at some point to confirm this isn’t just a whirlwind experience taken from the stories in Harlequin romance novels. Watching for these signs and taking notice of your date’s behavior will help you feel confident that this is a young adult fantasy relationship and not the road to a romantic apocalypse.

Keep checking our posts to learn more about young adult fantasy romance, interracial dating and online dating profiles, while tuning in to Eden Newman and her quest to Save the Pearls.

He loves me, he loves me not

September 27, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Here is a dating and mating question from a friend of Eden Newman. In her quest to save the pearls and find a mate so she can experience a young adult fantasy romance, Eden’s met many other girls who are also looking for their perfect mate.

“My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and he still hasn’t said he loves me. When we first met, he told me that he doesn’t think he’s a capable of love but he that he was trying to find a mate. Should I ask him directly if he loves me yet? If I’m not his perfect mate, I want to know that so I can move on and start dating and mating.”–Forever waiting for the L-Word

Ouch, that sounds less like a young adult fantasy than a romantic apocalypse. When a man tells you something about himself, it’s best to believe what he says. While in Harlequin romance novels or young adult romance books, sometimes the heroine has to endure a struggle to convince the man she loves that he loves her too, this is real life, not a fantasy romance.

By staying with him, you’re telling your boyfriend that you’re okay with being in this young adult romance, even if he doesn’t love you. Regardless of how happy you are with him, you need to talk to him about his feelings. If he still doesn’t love you or believe in love, you’re just wasting your time, when you could be browsing online dating profiles and finding your own fantasy romance. Avoid your own romantic apocalypse and seek what you deserve: a young adult fantasy romance.

Eden Newman recently shared how she was willing to wait for the real deal, an adventure romance like the kind she used to read about in Harlequin romance novels. Whether you seek interracial relationships or are trying to help save the pearls, visit SavethePearls.com to learn more about the cause and what young adult fantasy is really about. Set up your online dating profiles and start that journey towards your own adventure romance.

by eden

Make him chase you…

September 22, 2011 in Eden's Posts

So we’ve been flirting—yes, me and the one. He’s so like subtly sexy, I can’t stand it. He came up to me while I was filing a report and asked a question, but I couldn’t hear a thing. It’s like my senses blended all together. His arm brushed mine and it was straight electricity! I know I must be sounding like one of those old school Harlequin romance novels or young adult fantasy romance books, but whatever! I know what I feel, and it’s the first time I’ve ever had a feeling like that about someone. I wonder if he feels it for me too? I know the whole interracial dating thing might be an obstacle for him, but how could anyone ever resist this? I will play my cards right, even though I don’t have much time. What is it I read in one of those young adult romance advice columns—make him chase you?

Keeping it as hot as fantasy romance novels

September 14, 2011 in Fantasy romance

When you’re trying to find a mate and the perfect young adult romance (while avoiding the romantic apocalypse), it’s important to accept that it takes work. Dating and mating can be fun, but it’s also a practice that takes thought and effort—especially if you’re looking for the kind of love we read about in fantasy romance novels and young adult fantasy fiction.

When you’re trying to find a mate, it isn’t just about your mate-rate. This is why we’re sharing some tips from dating and mating experts that were shared with Eden Newman on how to create and maintain a with your perfect mate.

It’s important to keep the romance alive and fresh. Remember how exciting it was when you were browsing online dating profiles and “discovered” your current mate? Even the most exciting adventure romance has the potential relationships tend to fizzle out and lose the excitement. No matter what, the honeymoon phase will end and the mature feelings of actually being in love will come along. This is especially difficult because we love that first phase of the young adult romance—it’s a whirlwind of butterflies and the stuff that Harlequin romance novels are made of.

These times are passionate and exciting—you want to spend every minute with your perfect mate, they’re all you can think about and you’re never bored. The concept of romantic apocalypse is unfathomable. Everything is new and fresh, especially if you’re interracial dating. There is so much to learn and experience about the other person! You barely realize it when this phase starts to wane, but it will. What’s most important about keeping this young adult fantasy romance alive is that both partners are fully aware of the fact that this is a phase and just the beginning of a fulfilling relationship, not the end.

You can, however, prolong the honeymoon phase. Start by NOT spending every living, waking moment with each other. Keep doing everything you were doing when you were trying to find a mate, except checking out online dating profiles, lol. Instead of spending every day together, try spending every other day. This gives you the potential to double the length of the honeymoon phase. One, because you’re not spending so much time together and two, because it builds anticipation and makes you miss each other. Believe it or not, a little absence can increase the element of romance in any relationship. If you run out of ideas, check out some fantasy romance novels for some inspiration.

Another critical element of keeping the adventure romance alive is to maintain your life and your friends. Never give up nights out with your girlfriends or bros! This gives you fun things to talk about, keeps you balanced and enriches your life overall. If you have a passion, stick to it! For example, Eden Newman has dedicated her life to the Save the Pearls campaign. If she were to abandon it because she met a guy, we would all have major problems! She would also ultimately lose her man, though, because no one can have all of their partner’s energy directed to them and only them. Again, we’re not saying to go do everything you were dong before, like browsing online profiles or going out and hooking up, but to maintain your passions, hobbies, career, causes and friendships.

Even the most exciting interracial relationships can become routine in real life. Therefore, make a concerted effort to spice things up. Schedule date nights yet be open to spontaneity as well. This is a young adult fantasy romance, not a job—you can change the rules and make things fun whenever you want.

Never stop dating! This is key to keeping the element of young adult fantasy alive in your relationship. Take time to do new things together—this will help you bond with your loved one and maintain your zest for life. If you’re one who is interested in interracial relationships, there may be some different cultural things that you can show each other—definitely the recipe for fun and excitement.

Keep the compliments coming. Women need to feel beautiful and men like to feel manly. Give a heartfelt compliment whenever you can. Be creative and sincere.

Whatever you do, don’t get too comfortable or take your mate for granted—it’s a surefire way to kill your young adult fantasy relationship. Stay tuned to for information on save the pearls and tips on interracial dating, creating online dating profiles and increasing your mate rate.

by eden

Reading the signs…

August 17, 2011 in Eden's Posts

Remember I mentioned that I may have met someone? Well, I’m actually getting really excited because I’m pretty sure he likes me too. He’s gone out of his way to pass by my desk, and we’ve caught eyes several times. In fact, I caught him looking at me, or watching me, actually, from across the room earlier today. I can’t stop thinking about him, and when I see him, I like feel it in my stomach and my heart starts beating sooo fast. And yesterday, I swear it felt like he touched a little bit of my hair when he passed by. I know my hair’s nothing like what he’s used to—beautiful coal hair—but it felt like he took a deep breath as his hand grazed it. Like he was inhaling it. I can’t be looking too much into this, can I? I thought you’re supposed to listen to the signs and how you feel when you see someone. At least, that’s what the few who actually still believe in love think…

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