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by ethics officer

Romantic apocalypse… more survival tips

November 23, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Our survival guide for an apocalypse world continues. We understand how hard it can be when you try to find a mate and think you’ve succeeded, and next thing you know, your Pearl self is on the chopping block. Here are some ways to get through a romantic apocalypse quickly so you can move on to the fantasy romance we all want and deserve.

Limit the rant. Set aside some time every day—but not too long—to be sad. Then move on to something productive, like working to help save the pearls or de-cluttering your apartment.

Go through the sadness. Feel the pain for a bit and then distract yourself by doing some of your favorite things, like reading science fiction and fantasy books, surfing, running, etc. Focus on the healing so that you can move on sooner rather than later. You can’t find a mate and your next adventure romance when you’re pining away at home.

Source: Romantic-ruins.blogspot.com

Prepare for the next. Your ex isn’t the last potentially perfect mate on the planet, even in this apocalypse world. You will find another fantasy romance, you just need some time to heal.

Learn from the breakup. This is a great opportunity to assess your relationship patterns and see how you can make changes. Instead of burying your nose in young adult books the entire time (though that’s okay when you need some distraction),  determine what signs to look for next time. Did you move too fast? Or did you stay too long when it should have ended earlier? Focus on your role in this romantic apocalypse, so that your eyes are open next time.

Acknowledge the good and the bad. Congratulate yourself for what you did well in this relationship, and promise yourself you will not make the same mistakes again. Your relationship is not fodder for works of science fiction and fantasy—it’s a way to grow, evolve and learn how to have a healthy life. We at Save the Pearls know how important it is to have a successful relationship, so good luck to you all!

If you want some tips for keeping your fantasy romance alive, click here.

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by ethics officer

Surviving a romantic apocalypse

November 16, 2011 in Apocalypse World

We’ve all been there—one day, you’re happy and the next, you’re immersed in a full-fledged romantic apocalypse. It seems like your world is ending, and you just know that you’ll never get over it. Relax—there are ways you can heal your heart and start thinking about an adventure romance again, even when you’re living in a post apocalypse world.

Don’t jump back in.
Give yourself some time to heal, without dating or having sex. Read some young adult fantasy books, clean out your closets, do spa nights at home and just take care of yourself.

Work it out.
Hit the gym, go for walks, do yoga and take up a new form of exercise. This gives you time to clear your head and get your endorphins going, while relieving some of the stress that accompanies a broken heart. Plus, regular workouts will get you looking hot for your next and keep you prepared for obstacles in this post apocalypse world.

 

Source: io9.com


Write it out.
Spend some time every morning writing your thoughts down in a journal. Who knows—maybe your stories could become a best-selling series of young adult fantasy books!

Rest up.
Sleep and exercise can help you avoid depression. Make sure to get in a solid eight hours. Taking care of yourself physically will help your emotions heal faster, and you need to be well-rested so you can defend yourself in this apocalypse world.

Evolve
This is the perfect time to assess your role in the breakup and what your patterns may be. A broken heart can inspire change and lead you towards your next young adult fantasy romance.

Eat well.
Don’t fall into emotional eating—avoid comfort food and overeating, and stock your refrigerator with fresh, healthy foods. Keep in mind that cooking can be therapeutic—and it’s an impressive skill to flaunt when you’re trying to find a mate for a young adult fantasy romance.

Don’t be hard on yourself.
Give yourself credit for what you did well in your relationship and learn from its demise. It’s your turn to grow, just like the protagonists in all of our favorite young adult fantasy books.

If you want some tips for keeping your fantasy romance alive, click here.

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by ethics officer

What to wear for young adult romance

October 27, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When you’re trying to find a mate, you always want to make a stellar first impression. While we always hope that we’ll find a young adult fantasy romance based on our inner beauty, the truth is, when you’re dating and mating, your potentially perfect mate is most likely judging you on your physical appearance. Plus, your attire and style reveals a lot about your personality.

While a great outfit may not affect your date’s impression of you, a bad outfit most definitely will hinder your chances for a young adult romance. We polled our dating and mating experts for some tips on finding attire that will improve your chances of obtaining that perfect adventure romance with the perfect mate.

A standard rule, even when you’re not trying to find a mate for a fantasy romance, is that being underdressed is always better than being overdressed. This is true for the whole courting period of a young adult fantasy romance, but especially on first dates. More importantly, make sure you wear something that makes you feel confident and good about yourself.

Women should choose flattering silhouettes and nothing too revealing or tight—you want to attract an ideal young adult romance not a one night stand. Don’t show too much skin or cleavage, but choose your best asset and wear something that showcases it. Make sure your outfit fits well so you’re not adjusting it the entire date. Eden Newman shared one of her interracial dating experiences with us—she went super casual to a dinner hosted by her Coal boyfriend’s sister, who was appalled by her flip flops.

Men should avoid extremes when dressing for their potential adventure romance—it’s not the time to try out a new look. Wear something simple and classic. Even if it’s casual, avoid crocs or running shoes (unless your date entails working out). No matter what, stay away from white socks! The object of your fantasy romance will run away fast, even if she’s wearing stilettos.

These are also good principles to keep in mind when creating online dating profiles on a website like Save the Pearls. You want your date to be attracted to you as a whole, not because you’re falling out of your blouse. While you’re looking for the ideal young adult fantasy relationship, you need to look like yourself in your online dating profiles, not your fantasy of what you look like. While avoiding a romantic apocalypse requires intense effort, you should by no means fabricate your looks in order to attract a date.

Stay tuned to Eden Newman as she works to Save the Pearls while avoiding her own romantic apocalypse.

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by ethics officer

Be present

October 25, 2011 in Apocalypse World

If you’ve been playing the dating and mating game for a while and you finally meet someone you think could be the perfect mate, you may get a little nervous about going on dates and making them fun, bonding experiences. When you’re trying to create a young adult fantasy romance, it’s important to make sure that your dates are memorable… in a good way.

Start by being present—this is one of the best ways for taking the beginnings of a young adult fantasy into the type of adventure romance that’s written about in old school harlequin romance novels. When you’re in the moment, it’s obvious—and not just relevant to trying to find a mate or locking down that young adult fantasy romance. When you stay present, it makes your entire life better and more enjoyable.

Make it a point to truly listen to your date, making eye contact and offering interjections here and there to let them know you’re engaged. If you met through posting online dating profiles on a dating and mating site like Save the Pearls, you didn’t have to worry about this factor at first. In person, it’s an entirely different game. You need to listen and pay attention to the little things when you’re getting to know someone. Even if you’re ultimately not interested in them, they could be the perfect mate for a friend—if you truly listen to what they have to say you may recognize a potential young adult romance they could have with someone else that you’re close to. Guess who’ll get the bouquet thrown their way at the wedding!

Stay connected with the moment—leave your phone in the car so that you’re not texting, checking Facebook, or browsing online dating profiles. Be polite—give the person the same courtesy you expect. When you’re trying to find a mate and a fantasy romance, you just can’t be rude. You never know who your date may know! Plus, it’s practice. Eden Newman shared a video in the “Watch” section of the Save the Pearls site, of her friend who basically experienced her own romantic apocalypse on camera. It was awful—definitely not the basis of a plot for one of her favorite harlequin romance novels. The guy was a jerk, and while he was looking for a fantasy romance, it was not with her, and gave her no attention after he got what he wanted. He actually wanted to pursue an interracial dating situation. Perhaps if they spoke about that and paid attention to each other dying one of their dates, one of them would have recognized this and avoided their whole on-camera romantic apocalypse.

When you want to bring your young adult fantasy to life, being present is an amazing tool. Whether you dream of interracial relationships or an adventure romance, you’ve got to be patient and live in the moment. Sometimes it’s difficult to watch Eden Newman in her quest to find her own fantasy romance—because of her imminent deadline, it’s hard for her to not worry about the future. Yet even if she only has a few weeks left, being present every moment of every day will help her manifest the young adult romance she’s dreaming of.

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by ethics officer

Making it a fantasy romance again

October 21, 2011 in Apocalypse World

After dating and mating for awhile, you find the perfect mate and are suddenly immersed in the perfect young adult fantasy romance. It’s heaven for a bit, but then the honeymoon period ends and that adventure romance hits a little bump in the road. How do you improve the relationship and avoid a romantic apocalypse?

Even the most amazing fantasy romance and love stories from Harlequin romance novels hit rough patches. The good news is, it doesn’t mean you have to start your quest to find a mate again. The relationship just needs a little more fantasy romance in the form of fun and spontaneity. Dating and mating successfully is a work-in-progress. Eden Newman forwarded this awesome question and asked us to share some tips for keeping your adventure romance intact so you don’t have to start browsing online dating profiles again.

Be present
With all that we have going on in our lives, coupled with the population’s addiction to technology that keeps us constantly connected, it can be difficult to be present in the moment. Take time every day, with some extended blocks of time during nights and weekends, to disconnect from everything else and give your young adult romance a little quality time. Block out some time that is just for your relationship and nothing else—turn off all your phones, computers, iPads, etc. and just listen to your partner and really connect. Your perfect mate needs to know you are really there and present for them, and they will be able to tell the difference when you’re multitasking, even if it’s subconsciously.

Laugh
Laughter is key to keeping that young adult fantasy romance alive and healthy. Do something together that makes you laugh, whether it’s going to a funny movie or something silly like playing video games at the arcade—just anything that you both think is hilarious.

Get out of your comfort zone
Another way to boost your fantasy romance is to do things that gets you both out of your comfort zone. When you find a mate, it’s easy to fall into a routine that may lead to a rut. Consciously plan to do things you’ve both never done, whether as daring as skydiving or bungee jumping to simply trying a new type of food. On the Save the Pearls website, your profile asks for the top five things on your bucket list, and those items actually improve the appeal of many online dating profiles.  Tackle items like that if you’re feeling ambitious! Either way, trying something new or daring makes you grow individually and is bonding. Even the characters in harlequin romance novels are usually forced to get out of their comfort zone, and the result is usually an unforgettable young adult romance.

Dedicate time for dates
Make sure you have time that is sacred and uninterruptable for your relationship. Schedule date nights and leave your phone in the car during dinner. Set aside a few time periods per week that you won’t sacrifice for anything else. Even Eden Newman has to put aside her campaign to save the pearls so she can cultivate her young adult fantasy relationship.

Focus on the good
The best way to avoid a romantic apocalypse is to focus on its polar opposite: the good in life. Take time remember and appreciate what you love about your partner—and let them know exactly what you’re thinking. Focus on what is really making you happy in your life and talk about it and try to manifest more of it. For example, if your relationship is troubled by the type of issues that often accompany interracial relationships, instead of dwelling on those aspects, focus on what you both have in common and enjoy. When Eden was navigating her own interracial dating experience, she focused only on what attracted her to her partner, not what the rest of her world was thinking. No matter what, don’t blame your partner for the imperfections in your life and relationship.

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by ethics officer

Going Back for Seconds

October 17, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When the romantic apocalypse is upon you and there are no prospects for a young adult fantasy romance in sight, it can be tempting to get back together with one who you once thought was the perfect mate. If you’ve managed to stay friends and you know they’re a good catch, rekindling an old flame can seem right out of the stories in Harlequin romance novels and YA fiction. Yet there are a few things to consider before re-establishing that fantasy romance.

Keep in mind that it’s easy to idealize a past young adult romance, especially when dating and mating isn’t going so well. That said, with a little bit of honesty and a new perspective, you may be able to find a mate in an ex and have a successful adventure romance. You’ll also have to be careful to not repeat the same mistakes so you don’t find yourself immersed in another romantic apocalypse. Below are some tips for navigating this delicate area of dating and mating.

Look for change
The reasons you broke up the first time around must be eliminated. If your ex was the perfect mate except for their excessive partying and drug use, then that element has to be gone for this to become the young adult fantasy romance you want. Perhaps you had some control issues that took the young adult fantasy right out of the mix last time—if you’ve tamed those issues, then it’s possible to make it work this time. Or maybe you lived too far apart and now one of you has moved closer. If a behavioral issue was at the core of the relationship’s demise last time around, then make sure to watch for an extended period of time to make sure those changes are real before you reconcile. If your ex was one of your interracial relationships and it caused issues for them, this is probably something that didn’t just go away and this issue will rear its ugly heads again, killing this adventure romance even quicker than before. Eden Newman experienced exactly that type of situation in her quest to save the Pearls.

Take it slow
As with any new young adult romance, it’s tempting to jump right back in. However, the key to making this fantasy romance last is actually to take it slow. If both of you have changed, then you need to get to know each other again and adjust to each other’s transformations. It’s also good to slow down the physical intimacy and treat this just like you would any other brand new relationship. This helps you make more rational decisions and be sure that it’s time to cancel all your online dating profiles and stop trying to find a mate in other people.

Discuss what went wrong the first time around
Even though you don’t want to rehash the ugly past from your original fantasy romance, having an honest discussion about what went wrong the first time can help you avoid those same issues. It’s important to discuss why it was necessary to change and think of ways to avoid the situations that evoke bad feelings or conflict. For this to grow into the kind of young adult fantasy written about in Harlequin romance novels, you’ve got to be open and honest.

Don’t do it to avoid loneliness
Obviously, for Pearls like Eden Newman and all the others who’ve created online dating profiles on the Save the Pearls site, finding a mate is more about survival than avoiding loneliness. There are also those who only seek interracial dating opportunities and interracial relationships, and loneliness is not a factor. However, for some, the quest stems from a fear of being alone, which is the worst reason to rekindle an old flame. Make sure that you miss the actual person, not just having their companionship. Good luck on making this work! Our next post will tackle the subject of interracial dating…

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by ethics officer

Creating killer online dating profiles

October 14, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Are you fed up with dating and mating in the bar scene but are ready for the perfect young adult fantasy romance? Is it time to create some online dating profiles so you can find a mate? If so, here are some tips for making the best online dating profiles for the Save the Pearls site or any other dating and mating websites designed to help you attract the perfect mate and avoid a romantic apocalypse. Your profile can be the roadmap to your own young adult fantasy.

Start with a drop-dead photo—just make sure it truly looks like you. The next step for getting that young adult romance in motion is to write a description of yourself. Here are a few tips for creating an amazing piece that conveys the real you, written by dating experts and our Save the Pearls serial dater, Eden Newman, in her quest to find a mate for her ideal fantasy romance.

Start with a draft. When you’re writing your description, create a rough draft first. You definitely want to proofread it and perhaps look at it the next day to make sure you’re saying what you want to. While you’re not trying to submit this to a publisher of Harlequin romance novels, you don’t want it to be riddled with errors.

Keep it real. A young adult fantasy romance isn’t actually built on fantasies. If you hate sports, don’t say you love them. While we all want a fun adventure romance, it needs to be adventure that you like. If you’re seeking interracial relationships, be honest about your background. Interracial dating is not easy, so you want to be sure your potential date is open to it if you are.

Don’t worry about perfection. Think of your profile as a work-in-progress. You can always add and delete elements as you search for the perfect mate. Eden Newman shared that she tweaks hers regularly, as she learns more about what she wants from her fantasy romance.

Simplicity is Key. No need to use elaborate vernacular unless you do so on the regular. Stay away from curse words, text-message style abbreviations like OMG and LOL, or urban slang to attract interracial relationships. That type of thing can seem pretentious and inauthentic.

Have fun with it. Most importantly, have fun with your profile. This is the first step in creating an adventure romance and avoiding a romantic apocalypse. Love can be like the stories written about in Harlequin romance novels—enduring, passionate and loyal. You are the creator of your own young adult fantasy. If you seek others interested in interracial dating or a mate who truly believes that young adult romance exists, gear your profile to attract that type of person.

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by ethics officer

Fun With Flirting

October 12, 2011 in Apocalypse World

When you’re dating and mating, you know you’re on the way to find a mate once you’ve mastered the art of flirting. Whether you’re the same age as Eden Newman (not yet 18) or a successfully mated senior, creating the adventure romance of a lifetime is always a work-in-progress, and we can always continue to refine our flirting skills. It’s key to the success of your young adult fantasy romance and avoiding a romantic apocalypse. Even if you’ve been with your perfect mate for years, a little flirtation keeps the spark of a fantasy romance alive.

Yes, eye contact is instrumental to attract a young adult romance—how many ideas for young adult fantasy movies and Harlequin romance novels were sparked by a longing glance across the room? Yet making that young adult fantasy romance last a lifetime depends more on your dating and mating techniques. After all, we wouldn’t need the Save the Pearls website if everyone already knew how to find a mate and keep them!

Flirting is actually good for you—it mproves your overall wellness. Flirting your way to that fantasy romance boosts endorphins and your immune system! Studies show that people who flirt regularly have higher white blood-cell counts than those who don’t. Having a little adventure romance in your life can help you live longer—and save your life if you’re a Pearl. Even setting up online dating profiles and flirting online can make you happier and healthier.

Bonding in interracial relationships starts with flirting and gaining a common ground together. Flirting transcends cultures borders—two women living in different corners of the world may have nothing in common, except when it comes to attracting attention. They both bat their eyelashes, smile coyly, avert their eyes, and even flip their hair! It’s as if we all have an innate knowledge of how to create a fantasy romance and attract the perfect mate.

Flirting and infusing the young adult fantasy relationship isn’t limited to workplaces, social gatherings or browsing online dating profiles. Some people flirt while driving in traffic! If you’re trying to avoid a romantic apocalypse, you should probably make the most out of every moment of your day. You can also send flirty messages via text or be old school and send notes—many of the romances in Harlequin romance novels began with a simple note.

Keep safety in mind. Sometimes men may misunderstand a woman’s message or mistake routine behavior for flirting. This is also important in interracial dating situations—different cultures and races may communicate differently from each other. These differences must be respected, especially if those involved are searching for serious interracial relationships.

Keep visiting our site to keep track of Eden Newman and her Save the Pearls campaign, as well as her journey of interracial dating and finding young adult romance.

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by ethics officer

Avoiding a romantic apocalypse–how to chill out a nightmare date

October 7, 2011 in Apocalypse World

Have you ever had a date you expected to be a young adult fantasy turn into a session of uptight silence or a nerve wracking romantic apocalypse? When you try to find a mate, you may browse online dating profiles, chat and talk on the phone. Despite great rapport during initial communication, a potential night of young adult fantasy romance can turn into one filled with awkward moments. It’s too bad that Harlequin romance novels don’t come with instructions!

In this type of dating and mating situation, you can either make an excuse to go home early or make some moves that can turn the date into the adventure romance you’re looking for. Since you don’t want to let a little nervousness blind you from a potentially perfect mate, it’s best to try to make the best of the evening—after all, you never know what can happen!

When the tension is almost palpable,  use some humor to lighten things up and acknowledge the awkwardness by making a joke about the silence. This shows your date that you can relate and puts you both at ease, setting up the potential for a young adult romance.

Another technique is to ask questions and sincerely listen to the responses of your potentially perfect mate. When you’re dating and mating and uncertain of someone’s interest, it can be unsettling. By showing genuine attention, your date will feel comfortable to let down their guard and be open to an adventure romance. We’re talking real interest—you can see it in a person’s expression when they fake it. Make eye contact, laugh when appropriate and encourage your date by interjecting positively from time to time. The results will be almost immediate and turn you right back around from the edge of a romantic apocalypse. If they’re very passionate about their work or perhaps a cause they’re involved with like Eden Newman and her quest to Save the Pearls, ask lots of questions and show sincere enthusiasm.

When a date deflects questions and is too nervous to talk, lighten things up and give the night an element of fantasy romance by talking about yourself. Tell your date about your day or what’s going on at work—though you probably want to leave out any mention of looking at online dating profiles or reading harlequin romance novels, lol. If you appear to be having fun, your date will feel less pressure to entertain you and eventually relax so you can engage them to talk about themselves.

You can also share an embarrassing story or confession with your date. Sometimes a little self-deprecation and willingness to show your humanity lightens the mood and puts you back on the road towards a young adult fantasy romance. The ability to laugh at yourself shows that you’re not perfect and will show someone who’s also trying to find a mate or a young adult romance that you’re fun and easy to get along with. When Eden Newman was on her quest to save the pearls and find a fantasy romance, she would tell the story of how she fell off her skateboard on her first day at the new job. It demonstrated to her dates that she was funny, lighthearted and a potential candidate for a young adult fantasy relationship.

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by ethics officer

The Secret Relationship—Adventure Romance or Bad Idea?

October 5, 2011 in Apocalypse World

On your quest for that perfect young adult romance, have you ever found yourself immersed in a secret relationship? A covert type of adventure romance that was thrilling and exciting, but mostly because you kept this fantasy romance under wraps?

In the search for your perfect mate, you may find yourself dating and mating with someone you want to keep a secret. Your could be interracial dating situation but your family doesn’t approve of interracial relationships. Maybe you thought you found a young adult fantasy romance with a coworker, but didn’t want your gossipy colleagues to know, or there was a policy against workplace dating. Perhaps you’re in an undercover relationship with someone you know is not your perfect mate, so you set up online dating profiles to keep your options open. There are many reasons stealth relationships can occur, but while secrecy can give them elements of young adult fantasy and allure, there can be plenty of consequences as well.

Studies have shown that secret relationships were associated with less commitment. Those involved tend to not think of each other as partners, which limits the relationship’s feelings of intimacy and connection—sounds like the makings of a romantic apocalypse, rather than the enduring love written about in Harlequin romance novels. When you’re trying to find a mate or create the young adult fantasy romance of your dreams, it’s best to come from an honest place and not have to lie to the others in your life. An adventure romance is about having fun while you’re dating and mating, not feeling bad about being dishonest all the time.

Eden Newman found herself in stealth situation before—she was secretly dating a coal who didn’t want his family to know he was interracial dating. While she was fine with interracial relationships, he was not, and this led to much fighting, embarrassing moments where she had to hide, and ultimately led to a full-on romantic apocalypse, not the young adult romance she was seeking. This is partly why Eden Newman founded the Save the Pearls campaign and encourages others to create online dating profiles to find a mate and a fantasy romance.

Ultimately, if you’re trying for a young adult fantasy relationship, hiding it will most likely undermine its foundation. While secret trysts may be the basis for many Harlequin romance novels, it’s not something we recommend here at Save the Pearls.

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